Sunday, March 2, 2014

Sunday Statistics


Did you know …

That if you hear the phrase “Try some of my good pineapple wine!” you have an exactly 98% chance of being abducted and imprisoned in a hand-dug root cellar? It’s true!

I’d like to say that turning tail and running once you hear this significantly lowers those chances, but once the “good pineapple wine” has been offered the root cellar odds are essentially cemented no matter what your actions are. So I guess I’d recommend enjoying the pineapple wine, if at all possible, while hoping that you’re part of the other 2%.

Another interesting fact: nearly 100% of homemade pineapple wine brewers live outside of the pineapple’s geographic range (that is to say, they pretty much all live in Appalachia.) What did they make before modern food distribution systems made pineapple, fresh and canned, available year round? Probably elderberry or beet wine.

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