Did you know …
That if a product or its packaging is “biodegradable,” that means a team of material scientists has determined that there is at least a 95% probability that the item will be eaten by coyotes within a week of being discarded? It’s true!
The coyotes, of course, simply digest the item and turn it into coyote shit (see: dirt). This is part of the circle of life. It also means that if you’re using an object that seems to be biodegradable, you should throw it into the street or into a bush when you’re done with it. This will allow the circle of life to rotate unfettered, as opposed to when you throw a biodegradable item into a trashcan or compost bin, which delays hungry coyotes by precious minutes.
PS—I included the image above just because it makes no sense. How weird is this thing?!
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