Do you see Greenweek out there, bobbing over the waves towards us? Goodness me, I hope we haven’t been spotted yet. When will Greenweek understand that I just don’t carry change or gum? Oh, nuts, here it comes.
Did you know …
That Ireland is actually a floating island? It’s true! After Australia, Ireland is the largest floating island in the world.
While there are rocks and rocky spots on Ireland’s surface, the island is largely composed of peat moss, empty milk cartons, cigarette butts, and crumpled up old Playboys. Prevailing currents and wind patterns in the North Atlantic usually keep Ireland in the same general location, but during El Niño years it’s not uncommon for Ireland to drift far and wide, bringing depression and leaving red haired babies in exotic lands across the world.
On at least four occasions since the beginning of the 19th century, England has attempted to sink Ireland, but was (obviously) unsuccessful in each attempt. Margaret Thatcher, responsible for two Ireland-sinking campaigns herself, eventually declared the effort to be “like drowning a sack of polystyrene noodles—bloody near impossible and, really, what’s the point?” It was a strange thing for her to say, considering how she was eating a live puppy at the time, which she claimed to “utterly hate,” and yet consumed entirely nonetheless.
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