Did you know …
That the Arnold Schwarzenegger/ Danny Devito film “Twins” is completely implausible? It’s true! Sure, we all like a good laugh now and again, but this one doesn’t make any sense.
The film’s Wikipedia entry, which I think I can safely assume was written by Ivan Reitman himself, describes the titular twins as being fraternal. But the very next sentence says that they were the product of a single, split embryo. That’s not how fraternal twins work. Fraternal twins happen when two different eggs get shot with two two different sperms, hence the expression, “get knocked up again before the devil knows you’re preg.”
At any rate, the idea seems to be that the shorter, balder embryo half got all the crap genes that exist in any normal person. This is where things really fall apart for me. If this bizarre gene distribution were actually the case, Devito’s character (let’s call him Arnold Junior, or Arny, to avoid confusion with the Arnold Schwarzenegger character Junior in the film Junior) would be so genetically defective that he’d be unable to draw a breath or stand up, much less survive to adulthood. In fact, I wonder if he’d even receive the genes that instruct your cells to form a recognizable body. He probably would have been born as a big puddle of tissue, like a third placenta (or a second placenta, depending on whether they’re actually identical or fraternal twins). All the street smarts in the world can’t help you if you’re just a pile of goo, Vincent. Sorry, I mean “Arny.”
All in all, I give it a B+.
PS—I know it’s not Monday. You think I’m some kind of genetically defective little Arny, or something?
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