Did you know …
That wild potatoes are poisonous? It’s true!
In fact, it’s not just wild potatoes that are poisonous, all potatoes are poisonous. But … if all potatoes are poisonous, and you’ve eaten so, so many potatoes, how is it that you haven’t been poisoned? Is that what you’re thinking? Well, you have been poisoned! That’s probably why it took you so long to even think of that question.
Yes, as I type this fact, toxic glycoalkaloids in your blood are slowly destroying your body. Soon you will begin to hallucinate. You may experience paralysis, fever, or hypothermia. Eventually, you will die.
Geez, my great great great great great great grandpa sure didn't take a four day weekend and neither does science. I mean its not like people are saying: "why is the universe coming apart today at its seems, oh its because gravity and both the strong and weak nuclear force took a four day weekend'. Its laziness like this that keeps time travel and space colonies from being part of our reality. Other than your laziness, I must say your site is quite enlightening and educational; its the first thing my children read every morning (excluding the last four obviously).
ReplyDeleteThanks for your concern, Isaac! And apologies to your children, Isaac the 8th & co., who are no doubt very slightly dumber for the missing entries.
DeleteI'm working on getting the backlog of entries up. You see, I celebrated Thinksgiving with my grandfather, but since Grandpa has been dead since the late '90s, this meant that I was eating can of cold beans next to an unmarked grave in the woods. This particular woods, unfortunately, belongs to a gentleman who is not friendly to poachers or poachers/grave-tenders, and I was caught in a mantrap from Wednesday evening to just 15 minutes ago. Food wasn't a concern (if I have one can of beans, I have a dozen), but I did have to wait until an animal with sufficiently long and robust femurs came along before I could pry open the trap.
Keep your hungry eyes peeled for new science!
PS—Congratulations on being Daily Science Fact's #1 commenter!