Science Fair Ideas

Science Fair Ideas

Did you know …

That science fairs are a thing? It’s true!

I don’t know or care about most of the stuff children do. But I do remember that they sometimes hold science contests in gymnasiums and libraries. I can only assume that the exhibited projects are just awful. We’re talking about children, after all, and to my knowledge there hasn’t been a truly brilliant child  since Baby Einstein. So I thought I’d dedicate this Daily Science Fact to some science fair project ideas, courtesy of the Washingtom Factcat himself. (I say “courtesy,” but please don’t mistake me; these ideas are not free. If you’re interested in using one, please contact me, and I’ll work out the details with the Factcat.)

Cardiacano

This is a play on the classic papier mache volcano. But instead of an eruption of baking soda, vinegar and food coloring, this one will erupt a combination of baking soda, vinegar and blood. Judges might not know that it’s blood, so be sure to tell them. Then tell them that it’s a model of your grandfather’s heart. Where should you get the blood? Don’t be ridiculous. Blood is all around you.

Spiderhouse Rules

Fill a jar with spiders. What are the rules of Spiderhouse? There are no rules! Be sure to prepare the jar far enough ahead of time so that only one or two spiders are left alive. These are the spider bosses, strongest of all spiders, and if you can get them on your side, you’ll have something much more valuable than a blue ribbon.

Germanation

Do a series of trials in which you try to discover what conditions are most favorable to seed germination. Try playing with moisture, temperature, soil, etc. What conditions are associated with the fastest germination? Which produce the most healthy seedlings? Present your results in German on a poster board covered in swastikas. When the judges or school administrators ask you about it, tell them that you’re a German Buddhist. If they question this explanation, just own up to what it actually means, you filthy little Nazi. You disgust me.

Puppetmaster

Try to make a puppet come to life. Try filling it with guts. If they ask you where you got your materials, just say, “Duh. The puppet store, you idiot.”

Ratrat

Take two rats, and put them in adjacent terrariums, so they can see each other but not talk to each other. Then, tape a note to each aquarium so that the notes face the other aquarium. Each rat will be able to read the other’s note, but not their own. Have one note say, “I love you, rat.” Have the other note say, “IM GOING TO KILL YOU RAT.” Give the rats a few days to look at each other and each other’s notes. See what they do.

Big

Come to school wearing an adult’s clothing, and try to fire your teachers. Why do you think each one responded the way they did? On your display, show photographs of your teachers’ houses and families. Try firing them again.

Good luck, junior scientists!