Did you know …
That almost 90% of fungi species are actually pretty gross? It’s true! This is because your average fungus just loves to get into your personal nooks and crannies and act like pays rent. It really shits in the shower.
Most fungi are also classified as gross because of their status as heterotrophs. Obviously, simply lacking the ability to fix atmospheric carbon doesn’t necessarily make something gross (Hello? Cindy Crawford, anyone?), but when you go around pretending to be some kind of plant, and then suddenly stick your hyphae into a dead animal … I mean, it’s not that there aren’t a lot of useful fungi out there, but … yuck.
Reading this again, I realized that other readers may be left confused as to whether or not I think paying rent gives one the right to "shit in the shower." To be clear, yes, that is what I think. When you pay rent, that's part of what you're paying for.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't know for sure that Cindy Crawford *can't* fix atmospheric carbon. Maybe that's her secret. The point was simply that there are many attractive heterotrophs: beautiful ladies, noble wolves, delicate glasswinged butterflies, etc.