Platypus birth

Did you know that platypus reproduction is unique among mammals*? It’s true!

Instead of giving birth to live young, when a mother platypus’ eggs are sufficiently developed she will hide beneath a bush or riverbank, waiting for an unsuspecting human being to approach. The mother will then launch herself at the human’s face and promptly insert her ovipositor into his or her mouth and throat.

Intensely uncomfortable for the human, doctors nonetheless recommend waiting until all of the mother’s eggs have been deposited, and then allowing the mother to release naturally—attempting to prematurely remove the mother typically results in the removal of a large portion of the host’s face as well.

After laying her eggs, the mother will scamper away, exhausted but relieved, and happy that her babies are safe, growing in the belly of their new host. In fourteen months they will emerge fully grown, gnawing through the rib cage or abdomen of their “god parent.” A true miracle!

*Probably some of you were getting ready to be all, like, "Um, the platypus isn't the only monotreme. Don't forget the four species of spiny echidna." Yeah, well, now that you've read the rest and learned something new, I think you can go shove it up your cloacal vent.