Goblins!!!

Halloweek continues!

Did you know …

That the first and so far only living goblin was captured, studied and scientifically classified more than 200 years ago? It’s true! Sort of!

In 1765, Albrecht von Haller, the Swiss naturalist, anatomist and physiologist (though it was not a word used at the time, we’d probably call him a biologist), trapped a “kobold” (a goblin in English) in his root cellar. With the help of his assistants, von Haller moved the creature to a large bird cage in his laboratory, where he spent the next two weeks observing it and feeding it coffee and stewed beets.

von Haller writes:

After this brief but intense period of study, though my sensibilities as a man of logic and practicality near forbid it, my observations force me to conclude that I have discovered a wholly new species of man. Furthermore, I believe this creature to be nothing other than the direct inspiration for the forest kobold of children’s tales; it is hideously ugly, it yammers in a nonsensical language, and it has an unmistakable and ever-present glint of the diabolical in its eye. I have named it homo kobold infernius. With my other subjects, I would release them back into their habitat after my initial study and classification, forbearing anatomical dissection until multiple additional samples could be obtained. However, I fear that there is too much mischief in this creature. I cannot, in good conscience, release it to perform evil deeds on my friends and neighbors, and so I must find another solution …

Exciting, eh? But, as it happened, von Haller had actually captured and studied a human child. And he wasn’t even some kind of, you know, mutant kid. It was von Haller’s own nephew, Valvert, who had simply been exploring the cellar when Haller’s assistants threw a sack over his head and dumped him in the bid cage.

Fortunately for the child, von Haller’s route to the river passed by Valvert’s father’s house. When the father stopped von Haller and asked why his missing son was perched in von Haller’s wheelbarrow, apparently completely unharmed, the anatomist explained that he meant to dump the kobold in the river, for the good of the town. Valvert was rescued, von Haller was subjected to a lengthy scolding, and goblins were once again confined to fairy tales.

Or were they?! Booooooo!