Friday, June 20, 2014

Toothpaste toothpaste

Did you know …

That toothpaste used to be made of the shells of microscopic sea creatures? It’s true!

Ha ha! We used to make stuff out of crazy stuff back in the day. Sea monster toothpaste, wood footballs, horseshit hats, dog cats. Lol. Seems pretty funny now, right? Wrong, jerkoff!

Guess what we make toothpaste out of today (since the 80s, actually). No, don’t guess; I’ll tell you what it’s made of. Toothpaste today is about 6% goat gelatin, 9% insect parts (mostly crickets, but, honestly, quality control isn’t so great that other bugs can’t get in there too), and 10% iron. What’s the remaining 75%? Get this: it’s recycled, pre-80s toothpaste. That means that most of your toothpaste is still composed of microscopic shells. Microscopic shells and little chunks of other people’s teeth.

How do you like that?

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