Did you know …
How long a person can be alone before they go crazy? Thirty-four hours and twelve minutes! It’s true! When one locks himself (or herself, I suppose) in a ground-floor Motel 6 room on a Wednesday evening at precisely 6:30 PM, he will remain perfectly sane and reasonable until 4:42 AM, Friday!
In the final moments of his sanity, he will glance at the bedside clock before tearing it from the wall and smashing all the mirrors in the room with it. He (or she) will then take the fragments of broken mirror and, with no thought of protecting his own hands, attempt to dissect the room’s pillows and mattress. He might then start to believe that the carpeting is the fur of an immense beast upon which he is riding, and will skin the beast to create for himself a Cloak of Comfort. At this point, police officers will break down the front door of the room, and you’ll be so happy to see other people that they will have to taser you into unconsciousness just so you’ll release my hands from their uniforms!
Scientists don’t yet know the reason why the mental switch for sanity is flipped at this precise time, but, for your own safety, make sure to open a window or something when you get to about thirty-nine hours!
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