Crawbird

Gather ‘round the campfire, science scouts, and open your damn ears so that I might pour into them rich, sweet, poisonous Camping Knowledge.

Did you know …

That all your average crayfish/crawdad/crawfish/craydad/dadfish/daddad wants from life is to fly? It’s true!

This may be surprising, because millions of years of evolution have landed the humble crayfish snugly amidst underwater rocks, algae, and mud. But that’s not their fault; evolution is a deck of cards, and winning with three nines doesn’t mean you didn’t always want a royal flush.

Anyway, most crawpigs are forced to satisfy their desire for flight by practically forcing themselves into the gullets of seagulls and the like. But if you ever get the opportunity, do a mudbug a favor and chuck it high into the sky. If it seems to be pinching onto your finger, why, that’s only a dadbug’s way of saying thanks. Send that little s.o.b. into orbit, and it will die a happy (if a little sooner than it probably expected.)

A side note: don’t throw lobsters. They are a distinct species, and they want none of that nonsense.