Sunday, April 6, 2014

Worse than burlap


Did you know …

That the very first fabric that humans ever made was woven from other humans? It’s true!

I don’t mean that it was woven out of parts of humans, like skin or hair (yuck!), it was woven from living, fully-grown people. How it would usually work was four, six, or eight people would lie down on the ground, and sort of bend their bodies over and under the people around them. A successful piece of fabric would be four people wide and four tall at most, and it was completely useless. The participants would just lie there for a while, presumably hoping to be used for something, and then would wander away after a few hours to continue hunting or breaking rocks apart or whatever they were into.

It’s such a stupid thing. I guess it eventually led to much nicer things being woven, like socks and blankets, but this went on for, like, hundreds of years. Sometimes I wonder if people should have just gone extinct a long time ago.

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