The Bear

Did you know …

That the National Park Service’s anti-forest fire mascot, “Smokey the Bear,” is actually named “Smokey Bear”? It’s true!

While many people are in the habit of referring to Smokey as “the Bear,” it’s more like his last name is “Bear.” So don’t say “the” unless you have inside information on Mr. Bear’s middle name. (And if you do have that information . . . pass it on!)

Also, Smokey Bear is always depicted with a full erection. The artists and naturalists who designed Smokey understood that a bear on its hind legs, and one that is feeling threatened (as a bear would be when confronting a fire or a man with a shovel), would absolutely be fully tumescent, and they insisted that Smokey be portrayed accurately. This is why a pantsless version of Smokey only ever appeared in print from 1947 to 1949. It took a couple of years for the public to catch on because bear penes are very strange and mysterious, but once understanding caught on the outcry was tremendous. Smokey’s original creators apparently still held some sort of control over his depiction, and would only agree to the compromise of putting the helpful bear in a pair of dungarees. Officially, however, the erection is still there.