Spiderweek wants the moisture in your eyeballs. So keep those baby blues and chocolate browns closed tight … as soon as you’re done reading this!
Did you know …
That Queen Victoria was known as “The Spider Queen”? It’s true! This is because she ate only spiders for breakfast, lunch and tea, because her favorite hat was made of spider silk, because she named all of her children “Spider,” and because she insisted on sleeping face down in a hammock suspended over Prince Albert.
Victoria insisted, in fact, that she was a human/spider hybrid, and thought of herself as a great mother spider resting in the center of the web of the British Empire. When she eventually passed on, however, it became absolutely clear that she was 100% human. She died, of course, by falling off the back of a dry-docked steamship and hitting the propeller blade. There’s no need to get into great detail, but the impact jointed and cleaned her pretty thoroughly, and a lot of people saw it and not one disagrees that all of the parts were decidedly human.
You can’t really fault her, though. We all want to be cool.
PS—Yes, the title of this post seems to contradict an earlier Spiderweek factoid, but the nickname was only applied by me, just now, so there's no anachronism. Chill.
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