Did you know …
That the last grape ape died almost 30 years ago? It’s true!
Apparently the very last grape ape died from choking on the body of the second to last grape ape. (Ol’ Lasty, apparently, had just killed lil’ Second-to-Lasty.)
Occasionally rumors will pop up that there are small, isolated populations of grape apes still living in the wild, deep in the jungle, but, honestly, I hope it’s not true. Here’s why:
1) Any species that the last remaining individual of which decides to kill and eat the second to last remaining individual kind of has extinction coming. And any species that contains individuals that think they can entirely consume another body exactly the same size as their own body kind of deserves extinctions. It’s very dumb.
2) Grape apes, of course, are best known for loving grapes. But in reality they spent quite a bit more time raiding villages, stealing the villages’ medicine, and then throwing the medicine into rivers than they spent actually eating grapes. They were bad apes by pretty much any standard.
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