Bloodmeal

Don’t you hate it when you come home from a long weekend, and your hair and clothes just smell like Camping Knowledge? Yuck. Get it here instead.

Did you know …

That you can pretty much eat mosquitoes all day long, and you’ll still be hungry? It’s true!

There are a couple of caveats to this:

First, if eating mosquitoes grosses you out for whatever reason, you may not be hungry after eating a few (you won’t be full either, though),

Also, if you’re a bat, you can probably eat mosquitoes until you’re no longer hungry. It seems unlikely that you’re a bat if you’re reading this, however, unless you’re perched on the shoulder of a human being or hiding in their hair. Even then, I suppose it’d be a pretty big coincidence if you read English. It’s a big world out there.

See, the reason that bats can fill up on mosquitoes but we can’t is kind of the crux of the issue. We (humans) are much, much bigger than bats. If you look closely, you’ll see that we’re way, way bigger—probably somewhere on the order of 10 to 15 times bigger, depending on the bat and the person (although I haven’t done any formal measuring and weighing).

Mosquitoes, likewise, are quite small. Not so small that they can’t fill up a bat’s little tummy, but you can jam hundreds of those little turds in your mouth and it won’t do you much good. What’s more, in any given mosquito-eating scenario, some of those mosquitoes have probably already been eating you, and unless you get all of them, eating a few of them back is barely going to allow you to break even.

Presumably there’s a way to efficiently maximize mosquito intake (I’m thinking of something like a giant funnel and a vacuum cleaner), but until such an item or strategy exists I’d say it’s just not worth it.

I give eating mosquitoes a C-.