Saturday, August 9, 2014

Batman?

Did you know …

That Batman, hero of filmstrip and comic strip, isn’t actually real? It’s true!

Apparently research institutions across the country have dropped hundreds of millions of dollars into batman/manbat genetic hybrid programs over the last fifty years, but no one has been able to produce a viable result. You can mix up human and bat DNA, but in the end you just can’t make a human heart fit inside a bat’s body.

Similar projects were aimed at “catwomen,” and while these were more successful in that the hybrid offspring survived, basically all they produced was a generation of people indistinguishable from other humans, except they were constantly trying to lick their own butts.

Anyway, unless you’ve got a comic starring a 2-inch pipistrelle flopping around with a fist-sized heart stuck to its tummy, pretty much every incarnation of Batman you’ve ever seen has been entirely made up.

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