Look there, hidden in the gorse, what is it? Is it a kelpie? The dobhar-chu? A nasty, wee phooka? Dare we go closer? Oh ho! It’s nothing but Greenweek, asleep in the clovers. Best tiptoe around it—Lord knows it’ll be grumpy when it wakes.
Did you know …
That scientists aren’t sure what causes four-leaved clovers? It’s true! Typically, clovers (or trefoils or shamrocks) have only three leaves, but occasionally specimens with four or more leaves appear. Some scientists believe that this is the expression of a rare recessive gene, while others think that it’s the result of an environmentally caused mutation or developmental error. In any case, it’s clear that no one cares enough to figure it out. They’re just goddamn clovers.
The issue gets a little more interesting, however, when you consider the symbolism of the shamrock. Sly old St. Patrick is often depicted waving a big shamrock around like he found the last golden ticket, and its three leaves symbolize the Holy Trinity. But what about a four-leaved clover? Father, Son, Holy Ghost, and … ? Some suggest that the leaves have an entirely new set of meanings; faith, hope, love, and luck. Obviously that’s super lame. How about babes, buds, brews, and beaches? Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo? Or the tetralogy of St. Patrick’s day: whiskey, kissme, pisskey, missingkeys? These are all better options than hearts, babytears, Nancy Drew, and Eskimo kisses, or whatever the four things were that I read, wrote, and am unwilling to look at again. Also, I just made up the St. Patrick’s tetralogy, just now, and if I see that show up on a t-shirt or something before I am reimbursed … I swear by the varicose ankles of Patrick that I will track you down and eat your pets in front of your children.
Okay! How about some more of the Great Green List, notable folks of Irish descent?
-Angelina Jolie
-President Jimmy Carter
-First Brother Billy Carter
-Donal Logue
-The Michelin Man
-The inventor of the “wingdings” font
-Dan Rather
-Donatella Versace
-Fozzy Bear
We probably covered this yesterday (again, I’m not willing to look), but ironically St. Patrick himself was not Irish. Not by birth, anyway. So I guess he was a little bit of a liar. I mean, maybe he never actually said that he was Irish, but if you walk around looking like that, you’re really representing yourself in a way that implies that you are Irish. But I guess he’d fit right in in a nation of “storytellers.” Am I suggesting that all Irish people are liars? No.
No comments:
Post a Comment