Gobblers

Did you know …

That until the Great Depression turkeys were kept as household pets? It’s true.

Of course, when the United States’ economy collapsed food became too scarce and expensive to just have big fat turkeys wandering around every house. You see, turkeys are infamous thieves and gluttons, and if you had a pet turkey you would also have a lot of food go missing. That’s plain stupid. So millions of turkeys across the states were turned out, thrown into rivers, or shipped anonymously to other countries.

It was the first step on the road to recovery.

Thinksgiving: Turkeys

Happy Thanksgiving week! To celebrate America's holiday of having Natives donate things to them, all this week your Daily Science Fact will be on the theme of "Thinksgiving."

Did you know ...

That, contrary to popular opinion, turkeys are the most intelligent bird? It’s true!

I’m sure you’ve all heard anecdotes about turkeys drowning to death by looking up with their beaks open when it rains, and, yes, this is 100% true. Not all turkeys die when it rains, but a significant portion of them do. Then again, pretty much anything can die this way, so I don’t think it makes sense to count it as a strike against turkey intelligence.

The fact of the matter is that turkeys have many, many points supporting their intelligence. Turkeys are good at abstract maths. Turkeys understand syntax and can speak just about any human language given enough exposure. Turkeys are highly artistic.

In contrast, all other birds are extremely stupid. The bald eagle, for instance, is known to peck holes in its own body while trying to scratch its balls (I don't know if they even have balls), and no black capped chickadee has ever held a political stance that was different from its parents'.

Unfortunately, turkeys also hate themselves (probably because of their gross wattles), so most hurl themselves in front of shotguns and onto dinner tables, or just turn their heads upwards in a rainstorm, and end their lives before they ever accomplish much.

Turkeys, you have so much more to offer.