Loopholes

Did you know …

That most dogs can’t see the color yellow, or aurally process the syllable “na”? It’s true!

Don’t ever offer a dog a banana, because you’ll probably short circuit its brain. I assume that a short circuited brain would manifest in something like a fatal seizure, so even if you don’t particularly like your dog, I’m sure you don’t want a dead dog on your hands.

Also, come to think of it, don’t tell a dog that you’re going to take it to Benihana, because even if they understood that word they probably have rules against non-helper dogs in Benihana, and the dog would be disappointed when it found out. Not fatal this time, but even if you don’t particularly like your dog, I’m sure you don’t want a mopey dog shuffling around your apartment.

What’s the explanation for these phenomena, you ask? I don’t know. Evolution, or something. Ask a goddamn dog, if you’re so interested.